sometimes i just want to scream..

Let’s run through some quick math… 7 periods with 20 to 25 students in each, so somewhere around 150 students a day. And sure, I don’t talk to all of them at length every day. But there is always at least a “Good morning!” or a “Thank you, see you tomorrow!” when they hand in their papers. Do I know all of their stories? No. Do I even know all of their names? No. Hell, there was a girl in my group two weeks ago that I would have sworn was NEVER in the class before. Apparently, she has been, she just changed her hair..oops. Oh well, she’ll be fine.

So I have never had a problem with a student that lasted longer than one period, actually no longer than 45 seconds, but they were still pissed at me for the rest of the day as any 15 year old would be. I remember high school. I get the angst. I remember getting pissed when I had to work on days that I didn’t want to, but I still did it. I can, most of the time, understand that everything that goes wrong in their lives is “literally, the end of the world.” I must hear this 12 times a day. However, none of their worlds have ended yet. I continue to point this out, but it seems to make no difference. At least I try.

So when one of my seniors screamed, cursed and lunged at me in front of other teachers, tutors, and students I honestly wanted to end her world. But I didn’t. Instead I just checked one more box on the referral that already had six boxes checked, and continued to smile as she dug her grave deeper and deeper (secretly hoping she would so much as spit on me, get arrested and pretty much ruin the end of her senior year).

I was writing the referral because she got into a pretty heated, verbal argument with another student in the class. Might I add, at 7:33 on a Monday morning, far too early to be dealing with such behavior. I got in her face, and a fellow tutor got in the other girl’s face (who was seated the entire time). And we continued to stand between them and keep one from getting any closer to the other all while screaming “Calm down, let’s take it into the hall to talk about.. blah blah,” anything that might defuse the situation. Thank god a larger, male teacher happened to hear all of the screaming and came running in pulling out the more aggressive looking of the girls, the one by me-standing, screaming louder, cursing, and moving closer to the seated girl. He told her to stay in his room for the rest of the period to calm down.

I wrote a referral while she was gone. Her friends, upon seeing this, texted her to warn her. She came back to our class a little early that day. I wasn’t happy since she was supposed to remain gone for the period. But she didn’t cause anymore problems, so I let it slide. The rest of the day goes by. She comes back later SCREAMING about how I had no clue what I was talking about, I lied on the referral, I only wrote it because she is black (so was the other girl involved-who apologized for even arguing with her that morning less than five minutes after the incident), some unintelligible loudness, and cursing, and then she lunged at me. That was it.

Obviously she is crazy. Or at least I had seen enough to be convinced of it. I decided just to ignore her for the rest of the year and not deal with it. I’m not about to challenge someone who probably wouldn’t think twice about knocking me out, or at least attempt to pull my hair out. She actually even told a few students that she was going to key my car. Awesome. Luckily, she doesn’t know what I drive.

Some days go by. Some pretty rude comments and more threats are made from her. The teacher ignores, so I do too. They continue. I ask for it to be dealt with, and for her to be punished further, or at least talked to about it. Teacher says she did. But nothing changes, actually gets worse. I won’t even look in the girl’s direction anymore.

So, I’m scared in that classroom at this point. She terrifies me. Teacher says, “her bark is bigger than her bite”. But I don’t want to find out for myself. So I talk to an administrator at the school that has worked with and under my father for 25 years, and known me since I was born. He’s pissed that this is going on, and I didn’t come to him sooner.

Crazy girl gets talked to, along with her mother-which, shockingly, is where she has learned all of this hostile behavior. More disciplinary action is taken, more anger is unleashed. Long story short.. I’m still scared. She still has 1st period with me. However, if she addresses me with anything but respect and doesn’t do as I ask, even once, she is out of the class and will earn 10 days OSS. Which will most likely (this is my favorite part) ruin her grades the last semester of her senior year, causing her to fail and-if it is something that is not offered over the summer-force her to repeat her senior year, reapply to college next year, and jeopardize any scholarships that she might qualify for.

She has been lovely the past two weeks.