dealing with parents is best when they aren't drunk

Take ‘em out back, line ‘em up, and blow their heads off.. Drunk soccer and cheerleader moms, of course, not my students. I love my second job. Bar tending is USUALLY the easiest, fast-paced, fun money one can make. But sometimes, like this weekend, we have the most useless bunch of prols staying in the hotel (I work at a hotel bar). 46 15-16 year old soccer playing males, 83 14-15 year old stunt practicing (IN MY LOBBY!) annoying girls. But that’s the part I can ignore. What I can’t ignore are their belligerent moms spilling cosmos and beer nuts all over the place. I actually closed the bar early as to not get fired for knocking some mini-van driving, irresponsible, excuse for a mother out. Patience is something that the classroom can teach over time. But last night, my patience was nowhere to be found. I’ll admit, the one other idiot I was working with (Chris) has put in his two weeks, so he doesn’t care about much right now, and I KNOW that didn’t help my mood last night. But after I caught one soccer player, and one cheerleader all but having sex in a back stairway while their wine chugging mothers were falling off of a stool at my bar, I was just about ready to start giving parenting lessons. But instead, I told the kids to take the party upstairs, cashed both their mothers out and had them escorted to their rooms for the night. I am almost hoping the kids were in one of the rooms finishing up what they started on the stairs.


Last call wasn’t mentioned; I just started putting liquor bottles away and passed out checks. I told them the lights would be out in five minutes. And then ever so pleasantly reminded them that their children had to be at the fairgrounds in less than six hours, and that our front desk has a wakeup call service that I strongly suggested they use. Chris was PISSED. So were three mothers. The rest did shoddy math on the backs of receipts; they still got their totals wrong. The three moms were convinced I was supposed to be open for another hour, and they were correct. And I might have reconsidered, gone to the back and taken another shot, and stayed for the next hour simply for the money and to laugh when I hear about all the kids who didn’t make it to their early tournament because their mothers don’t drink like this but twice a year and were not able to get out of bed. But the women, two who had on watches, and all three cell phones sitting on the counter couldn’t prove what time it was. FAIL. You lose bitch, go to bed. Chris was pissed because he was missing out on an hour of tips, I told him to take a look at his signed checks, and that the next hour wouldn’t be worth it. I thought he was pissed when I told him we were closing, well he was at an all new level of pissed when he saw how much money these moms weren’t leaving. I just laughed at his shocked face and continued re-corking wine bottles.


Now, normally I only have to deal with business men, as we are located in a business park. And these men stay for one or two weeks at a time, so they take good care of their hotel staff, as anyone sleeping, eating, and drinking in the same place for two weeks would. I love them. When they get drunk they just quietly walk upstairs to bed. They don’t spill shit. They don’t order martinis. And they don’t forget to put their kids to bed for an early competition the next day.
So, after a night like this I remember why I’ll be teaching one day. Because those kids look up to me. Those kids listen when I have something to say. Those kids NEED help, and normally ask for it. Those kids can still be saved from becoming drunken soccer moms.


We had Valentine’s Day parties on Friday with all but the Freshman classes. They brought me Valentines. It was so cute. But I was sure to not let the teacher find out that I got, overwhelmingly, more cards and candy from her students than she did. Maybe if she had their respect, and was a little nicer… I love my AVID kids. They are the best. I can’t wait to go in on Monday morning and tutor young minds that appreciate what they do have, because it isn’t much. However, Sunday night, I’ll be working a soccer banquet that starts at nine, and is supposed to go until midnight. Including, you guessed it, a CASH BAR. Yeah, that’ll be closing early.