choosing to tutor

Why do I choose to tutor? Because part of me can still see potential in every student. Part of me can still imagine improvement in even the seemingly hopeless ones. Part of me does this because I feel that the education system is ready for a change and it has to start somewhere. But mostly I do it because it is conducive to my schedule, pays pretty well, is convenient, and honestly is good experience for when I teach.

I have seen all kinds of teachers. Good examples, bad examples, teachers that have no business in the classroom, teachers that just want to be their student’s friends. I have chosen to mentally note the good qualities of teachers I find productive, and also the qualities I plan on never acquiring. I have seen teachers walk in on the first day and get eaten alive, the next ten months was quite hard to watch. But I have seen also teachers walk into classrooms that other teachers have quit on and turned the students around in just one lecture on behavior and respect. That is who I want to be.

Before I started working at a Title 1 school, I never, EVER, in ONE BILLION YEARS dreamed that I could step into a classroom full of students that look nothing like me and are only two years younger and make them listen and have their respect. But beyond respect, they look up to me. Yes, I help them with their school work, that is my job, but I also have helped them with personal problems in their lives when they did not think they had anyone else to go to. They trust me completely, they put me on a pedestal, and they honestly think I have all of the answers; so quite frequently, I pretend I do.

I realize that tutoring is different from teaching in that I am only reinforcing a concept, and the classes are not mine. The teacher is in the room working with students one on one. But getting the students into groups keeping them focused on the tutorial while I am helping another group is no easy feat. High schoolers have a very short attention span, this is something that I have learned to accept. I have also learned to accept that some days they won’t work in groups and as long as they are QUIETLY working on their homework, listening to an iPod that isn’t the end of the world. I have also accepted that some of them are going to fail, and it isn't worth my effort. You can’t save 'em all. Which works for me, because someone needs to be making the frostys at Wendy's.

I have seen a lot of things that will be helpful when I do have my own classroom. I have seen the promise in some of these kid’s eyes. It is something that is pretty encouraging. Yes, the 1st graders learning the numbers and letters is adorable and they get more excited than Grandma on BINGO night, but nothing beats knowing you turned a kid's life around because you asked a few questions and pointed them in the right direction after showing them that all hope is NOT lost, and that’s why I do it.